You’ve finally connected with someone on LinkedIn, now what?
That first message is your chance to make a real impression, but most people waste it with generic nonsense that gets ignored.
What NOT to Say
Let’s start with what doesn’t work: “Thanks for connecting. Hope you are well.”
These bland, cookie-cutter messages get absolutely no response.
They’re forgettable, they add no value, and they scream “I’m going to pitch you something soon.” Delete this from your vocabulary immediately.
And whatever you do, never use your first message to sell.
The “connect and pitch” approach is the fastest way to get ignored, blocked, or unfollowed.
If you’re using LinkedIn to prospect or find clients, understand that this first message is about building familiarity, not closing deals.
The Golden Rule: Would You Say This Face to Face?
Here’s the test for any first message: Would you actually say this to someone if you met them in person?
If you wouldn’t walk up to someone at a networking event and say it out loud, don’t type it on LinkedIn.
This simple rule will save you from sounding like a corporate robot, coming across as weirdly over-enthusiastic, or being unintentionally creepy.
Nobody likes sycophantic messages that gush about how amazing someone is. Nobody wants forced enthusiasm or bizarre compliments. Keep it normal, keep it human.
Your First Message Should Stand Out (But Stay Real)
Your first message is your chance to be memorable and spark an actual conversation.
This doesn’t mean you need to write an essay or force a lengthy exchange, but it does mean being a bit creative and showing you’re an actual human being.
For example, I often send a cheeky apology in my thank-you note apologising for my bright tropical shirts potentially hurting their eyes and promising to keep an eye out for their posts.
It’s different, it’s human, and it gets responses because it doesn’t sound like every other LinkedIn message they’ve received that day.
Be creative. Say something unique.
Reference something from their profile, comment on a post they shared, mention a mutual connection, or make a light-hearted observation.
The goal isn’t to impress them with corporate jargon, it’s to be memorable and real.
What Makes a Good First Message
Here’s what works:
Keep it human – Write like you’re talking to someone at a networking event, not sending a formal business proposal.
Make it personal – Reference something specific to them. It could be their company, a recent post, their location, or even something quirky about their profile.
Don’t force a conversation – You don’t need to ask three questions or try to manufacture engagement. Sometimes a simple, genuine message is enough to plant the seed for future interaction.
Show your personality – Don’t be afraid to be a bit different or inject some humour. People connect with people, not corporate robots.
Never, ever pitch – Save the sales talk for much, much later, if at all.
Examples of Messages That Work
Instead of the dreaded “Thanks for connecting,” try something like:
- “Thanks for connecting! I promise to keep my bright tropical shirts to a minimum in your feed. Looking forward to seeing what you’re working on.”
- “Cheers for accepting! Noticed you’re based in Manchester, been there a few times, great city.”
- “Thanks for connecting, saw your post about [topic] the other day. Made me laugh/think/reconsider. Appreciate the connection.”
The key is to sound like yourself, not like a LinkedIn bot or someone trying too hard to impress.
Final Thought.
Your first message doesn’t need to be a masterpiece, but it does need to be genuine and normal.
Ditch the generic “thanks for connecting” templates, never pitch in that first interaction, and focus on being a real person having a real conversation.
Think about what you’d actually say if you met this person face to face.
If it sounds weird, over-the-top, or insincere when you say it out loud, don’t type it on LinkedIn.
LinkedIn is crowded with boring, corporate noise. Stand out by being human, being yourself, and showing you actually care about building a connection not just making a sale.